Yep, they're over. So, as the BBC have already shown us with their wonderful little Olympic montage, it is time to look back and reflect... and wonder what happens next (other than the Paralympics, which, as it is on C4, won't be half as good, regardless of all that 'Thanks For The Warm Up' rubbish).
...Just to clarify, the montage was only wonderful thanks to Benedict Cumberbatch's lovely voice. In case you thought I was really that sad.
Anyway, if you live in 'GB' like I do, you're probably already sick of the whole Olympic review thing, but tough. This is what I thought. NB: it's not all negative, don't worry. Keep reading, and you'll get there.
Before the Olympics I thought the whole thing was gonna be terrible and cringe-worthy. The government had already spent more than 4x the original budget, and were still having trouble -- the G4S debacle, for example. And yet they were still trying to big the whole thing up to epic proportions. I honestly felt ashamed to be British. Even Mitt Romney was making fun of us.
Yes, I was a sceptic.
During the Opening Ceremony I was confused. I've heard that the whole thing was all quirky and British, but no. If by quirky you mean pompous, weird and creepy, then you're right. If by British, you mean it showed little scenes from British life, lit, whatever, then yes, I hear that that was the idea. Why the rest of the world (including my whole family) seemed to enjoy it, I don't know. I hated it -- and yes, I'm including the whole thing with the Queen and James Bond. To be fair, I loved the whole making-the-olympic-rings thing, as well as the petal-cauldron, but that was it. And don't get me started with the BBC commentators.
Seriously. You could actually tell they were reading the facts about the 204 countries off their BBC-issued iPads or whatever; they paused every now and again to scroll down the page.
I didn't like the opening ceremony. It didn't bode well.
During the Actual Olympics I was having the time of my life. Through the medium of a screen in my living room. Yes! I got to see Jess Ennis obliterate the hurdles; the Brownlee brothers storm the Triathlon (all three people mentioned part of #TeamYorkshire, who would've been fifteenth on the medal table, I might add); Michael Phelps swim his last race; the bizarre world of Judo ('I really don't understand', said I... 'Come on! Ippon! Ippon!', screamed I the next day); Andy Murray do what he couldn't do just a few weeks before and trounce Federer, hurray; Andy Murray go on to yet another Olympic final with Laura Robson less than an hour later (needless to say, they got silver); Jamaica get their 1,2,3; and, joy of joys, Tom Daley win a Bronze in the diving -- and that wasn't the best thing about the diving. It was one of the commentators, Leon Taylor. He obviously loved his job and the diving, he completely knew what he was talking about, and he made the diving understandable. He, Ian Thorpe and Clare Balding (who literally knew everything about every sport) are my Favourite Non-Competing Personalities of the Olympics. Thank goodness the Beeb didn't get everything wrong.
Also, the crowds were cool. Just sayin'.
Which means that, in the end, even though I'm not a fan of sport, I enjoyed the Olympics. Shock. And. Horror.
During the Closing Ceremony I was close to tears. Back to our country being mediocre, unfortunately. Why? WHY? Jessie J did 4 songs. I have nothing against her (other than her annoying fans), but blooming heck. They had Brian May on. They had George Michael on. They had 1D on. They had the (Team Yorkshire) Kaiser Chiefs. Why did Jessie get the monopoly on air time?
Another thing that troubles me is that the whole thing was about 'Inspiring a Generation'. Where were all the new, just-happening British artists whose popularity would be sky-rocketed even if all they got to do was sing along in the back ground of Parklife? I understand showcasing the Golden Oldies, who did a much better job than poor old Hey Jude dude, but it's been a gazillion years in the pop world since Jessie J, Tinie Tempah and Tinchy Stryder (the last two might be wrong, I'm not a big R&B fan) brought out a single. Thinking on all this, actually, I've got another problemo: the old rock guard were there, but where were YM@6, the Blackout, and Young Guns? Hmmmmm? Exactly.
I didn't like the ceremonies. Thankfully, I loved the actual events and stuff, which is the important part.
Sports fan (?) out!