Hurray! Guess what, everyone -- I'm two today!
The blog itself just said that, by the way. At the grand old age of twenty-four months it has been given the ability to speak by the gods of technology. It asked me (at knife-point) to tell you this because it thought you wouldn't believe it if it told you itself. But it is completely true, 'rinos. I can assure you of that.
Yes, it was on this very day in 2011 that Charlotte posted her first post, which you wonderful people have somehow kept as the most viewed post throughout that whole time, even though I have become a treasure trove of much better and less embarrassing posts since then. I'm sure Charlotte will join me in thanking you for doing that. We are both so terribly grateful and bemused.
Two years,one hundred and fifteen posts, three followers,one thousand six hundred and seventy views, forty menacing stalkers and three convictions later, the world is a much better place for having me in it, as I'm sure you'll agree.
I've seen a lot of blogs have parties for their birthdays, and while I would love to have a game of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, I'm a blog with no arms. It's lying -- it's pointing a knife in my face right now so how could it not have arms? Someone please come and help me. Ignore Charlotte, she's just messing, and taking me away from my point: I'm a blog, so I can't have a human birthday party (and don't really want one, either). However, I would like to have a Blog Get-Together. If any of you three followers, forty stalkers or people of the void have blogs, and if those blogs have been granted voices by the gods of technology, I would love to get to know them! Link to them in the comments and let them post what they will for the day, and I will get my minion/blogger to comment on their post for me. I would love to have some Blog Friends instead of rubbish human ones who think the anthropomorphosis of something immaterial is impossible.
If you would like to send me a birthday message just add a comment, and if you would like to send me a birthday present (which you undoubtedly do), post it to Charlotte and I will steal it off her when she's asleep. Or perhaps I'll just kill her and take over her life as if nothing has happened -- I have been privy to her thought patterns for long enough now that nobody would ever notice, I think. I'll just see how it goes.